Aisle Do!

This the blog of a professional wedding photographer based in Dublin, Ireland.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Worse things happen at sea...

I see that the romantic idea of being married by a captain at sea can now be a reality on P&O cruise liners. You can have a whole ship as a backdrop for your wedding!

It is a long-held misconception that a couple can run away to sea and be married by a ship's captain. In reality it's far more complicated. You operate under the regulations of the country where the ship is registered and under Britain's Marriage Act of 1949, weddings can only be held in a "permanent and identifiable place''. Apparently, a ship ploughing through the Atlantic does not meet the lawful requirements.

So to facilitate providing a quiet service or a lavish affair with dozens of guests, flowers, bottles of bubbly and everyone joining the honeymoon cruise - P&O Cruises has announced Oriana is giving up British registry and switching to Bermuda.

All of this just proves it is much easier to marry at home and then go away - rather than get married abroad…. and crucially you'll also have all your photos to look forward to when you get home from your honeymoon!

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Saturday, November 25, 2006

How to Pick your Wedding Venue…

This is a guide to what to think about as you look for your reception venue. We all have dreams of Fairy Tale Castles, white horses and wonderful gardens in which to walk with our friends... Indeed, I had a carriage for my own wedding and some time I'll share the story of my horse bolting across the rush hour traffic; but enough already!

So Ros, I hear you say, what according to you are the key points to consider?

• Firstly; as we all know size matters! I think the venue size is the first and foremost consideration - there is no point in thinking you'll have an intimate dinner with friends in a place which sits 250 guests, nor indeed can you force 250 in to a place which sits 120. You need to start with your guest list and work from there; looking at the options that will cater to your planned size and select a place that’ll sit everyone in the same room.

• Putting up with your Guests - you need to consider your guests arrangements - will they be staying over in the venue or going home? Are many coming from the UK and is there accommodation on site or is there a need for people to book B&Bs nearby.

Cost; what will the meal cost per head - are there other hidden costs; for flowers, table decorations, and importantly do you need to commit to booking a minimum number of bedrooms.

• Transport for your guests; if it is near the church, is there ample car parking - if there is plenty of parking - will their cars be 300 yards from the door of the venue (there are some places where maps and sherpas should be provided) or will you opt for a Wedding bus? Remember a long canter in strappy stilettos’ will create blisters, tired feet and discourage many dancers... even among the bridesmaids!

• Availability for your date, it helps if you can be flexible. Some venues give a discount for Monday, or mid-week weddings – a wedding on a Monday or a Thursday lengthens the weekend for everyone.

• As you look around the venue think about what to do if it rains- is there somewhere to take photos. Most venues do have a place for family photos that is out doors and under cover often specially built as a result of the smoking ban! If you’re unsure, ask the staff – some places only have a room or a stair well, if you can avoid these your photos will be much better!

• The menu options - do they offer a vegetarian option alongside meat courses and does it need to be booked in advance. Do they offer hors d'œuvre before the meal and snacks later like sandwiches or cocktail sausages?

• How flexible is the venue about your running order. Are the staff pleasant, and will they cater to your requirement if you wish to have your speeches before the meal, or bring out a birthday cake for a guest?

• Does the venue offer a drinks package, perhaps with a drink on arrival and wine at the meal, or a selection of drinks and if you're thinking bring your own bottles of bubbles - do they have corkage options?

• How late will they let non residents stay, what time will the band be expected to play until, and will they allow the disco to stay longer than the bar is open?

• The decor is probably the last issue to consider as the banqueting suites in most modern reception venues are spectacular with chandeliers and mirrors soaring yards up to the ceiling.

As a photographer I can state; ultimately the venue is the scenery. It is the canvas on which you lay out your plan and the backdrop for your Big Day and in every case you'll get what you pay for, and sadly, ‘practicality’ isn’t always a bride’s best friend!

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Thursday, November 23, 2006

Not a bleak venue; Belleek Castle....

Situated amongst in acres of woodland & forestry, Belleek Castle is close by the banks of the River Moy just outside Ballina, Co Mayo. Off the main road you enter through an ancient gateway and woodland drive – formerly the Knox-Gore Family home and the ancestral home of the Earl of Arran. So it is imposing!

Belleek Castle Hotel been extensively refurbished but it oozes a well lit quirky medieval character with suits of armour, heavy tables and chandeliers adorning the corridors and ceilings.

Belleek Castle combines old world elegance with bright and spacious bedrooms not the gloomy and dungeony feel you often find in smaller castles. The rooms have four-poster beds and full en-suite facilities, extravagantly plumbed with both types of water – hot and cold! The views out over the grounds are spectacular and there are many nearby waterside and woodland walks.

Worth seeing is the "Armada Bar" with a recreation of a Captains Ward Room from a galleon in the Spanish Armada. It is partly constructed from oak balks salvaged from the galleons of the ill fated "Castile Squadron" wrecked on the Atlantic Coast of Co. Mayo four centuries ago.

What is the food like? It is lovely. Indeed I can exclusively reveal that it is so good the Chef held his own wedding there... and it really is family style as he married the sous-chef!

The banqueting room is worth seeing! In full medieval castle style it has its' own bar area, and even a blacksmiths forge doorway making it perfect for the discerning engaged couple seeking a real castle for their wedding… and for the big day they light ALL the candles!

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Bridesmaids Duties

This is not the usual list! It is one I've assembled by observation rather than "studied" or found in a book on wedding etiquette. One thing I am certain of: the friend you picked has seen an almighty change in your personality!

She has watched as her fun loving vodka and Red Bull slugging best mate has left forever. You've become a "Bride" - how close to Bridezilla you've become is her secret opinion; so don't ask!

Here are my tips to the Chief Bridesmaid:

• If asked an opinion be as diplomatic as possible; the truth hurts but looking an eejit on the Altar lasts a life time; so when delivering a verdict, be very careful!

• Calm her down. Talk her out of kicking her mother in the shins; advise her that cursing the Reception Venue staff won't do anybody any good.

• You will probably be asked to go with the bride to the various wedding shows and dress shopping for her wedding dress as well as the Bridesmaid Dresses. You will often be the substitute for the bored groom or when he is looking for an escape from the long hours of planning - get used to it – this stuff takes time!

• Try and attend some dress fittings to give your friend some feedback in how the dress looks and fits.

• Plan and arrange the Hen Night: some basics to help you make sure there is lots of alcohol, lots of food and some grubby fun!

• Help with the seating arrangements for the big day. This can be a very difficult process. My tip is to draw the tables on a piece of paper and pencil - then move the names around until you have everyone sitting with the best people. Bring this drawing to the wedding in case there are any mix-ups.

• Keep the Bride fed on her wedding day, as she will forget to eat but remember to drink Champagne and a tipsy nervous bride is not someone you want to see! So make sure she has some breakfast before the day starts, and make sure she gets some dinner at the reception.

• This is vital - assist the bride in getting into her dress and makeup – it makes for better photos!

• Make sure the bride arrives to the ceremony relatively on time – late is fine! Ensure she has everything - gloves, bag, rings, silver coin, the necessary items of blue, borrowed and new.

• Act as a messenger for when the bride wants to communicate with family or the groom (important when leaving to go to the Church so everyone is clued in!).

• Help her out of the car. Straighten everything up before the bride before she takes that Walk. Adjust her hair, straighten her veil, and rearrange her train if needed, and do it again after she arrives at the altar and she is about to sit down.

• Keep the brides bouquet during the ceremony - make sure you have a free hand to adjust the dress.

• Be the witness and sign the marriage certificate.

• Dance with the best man during the first official dance, and dance with the other groomsmen during the following songs too.

And that’s it! Enjoy the day out, knock back the champagne and it’s a great chance to dress up and put on loads of makeup, get the nails and hair done….

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Sunday, November 19, 2006

RTE's Brides by Franc

A few people have asked my opinion of the RTE TV programme: I think it is great... for a couple of reasons. It shows that you really can have the wedding of your dreams! It also shows in a practical way how to be creative, how a professional wedding planner develops and then compromises on an idea. Of course: critically - the importance of a budget!

There are two practical points he demonstrates - you need to have to be able to explain and describe your ideas thoroughly and in advance in order to get others to help you achieve your dream. This can be delegating or hiring others to carry out specific tasks for you on the day. Lastly, nothing is impossible in achieving an effect with some planning and ingenuity.

I was photographing at a wedding recently where the Father of the Bride did the Flowers (to professional flower arranging standards!) and the video. The planning bit let him down; it meant that the photos were a step too far for him! He used a remote control for the video camera and a tripod with a electronic pan system. I never got to see the finished video but from the set up and positioning I would imagine it could be good if he edited well. And yes, after hitting start button on the video camera; he walked the bride up the Aisle - and made a speech too! He hardly had a moment to to relax!

At most weddings delegation is limited to blowing out the candles and moving the flowers from the church to the reception venue. As flowers are very bulky and need to be kept flat - this can involve quite a few people and big car boots!

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Friday, November 17, 2006

Nuptual Celebrant....

Not every one can find a celebrant for their marriage in Ireland. Recently I mentioned to a friend of mine, a Pastor about the difficulty of people who want a Christian wedding but are not part of a particular Church or group.

He was surprised until I explained it is particularly difficult for divorced people in Ireland who are from Roman Catholic or Church of Ireland backgrounds as some Parishes won't even bless their unions. My friend immediately said he'd happily do a Christian ceremony and arrange the wedding registration if any one was stuck in this situation and wanted it.

Of course, there are other alternatives: I've done a couple of humanist weddings, which are nice and also I regularly attend weddings in the Unitarian Church in St Stephens Green. The Unitarians appear to do a lot of Weddings every month - far more than a congregation of under a 1,000 would be expected to do! I'm told the popularity of this option makes booking quite difficult to find an available day. They also ask for a minimum donation - which is very modest given the location and the lovely surroundings - but steep for a person on a average salary.

As my friend is ordained, married and still in his thirties with a theological degree from from Trinity College in Dublin - he is ideal for the task! So if you've found yourself, or know of others in this position and are interested, email me I'll pass on your details and you can get in touch. His only big stipulation is that he meets you both... which shouldn't be difficult since you're getting married!!!!

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Sunday, November 05, 2006

Wedding Project Planning

As if planning to get married wasn’t difficult enough – here is a free planner using Microsoft Project to "enhance" your planning for the perfect big day; minute by minute….. you can download the free template here

And don’t forget – there are significant differences between Irish and US Weddings (and even in the US between different Ethnic and Regional styles too). For example in the US; Bridesmaids are often expected to pay for their own dresses…. While Rehearsal Dinners are considered very important in the US – they remain almost unknown here. In the US, it is often the first opportunity many close friends and family even meet the bride or groom before the big day.

Indeed few rehearsals here are as comprehensive as in the US, but then, it is rarely needed here. This is largely because it is easier to surround yourself with a wide selection of practised professionals; in hair and make-up, your celebrant, your driver, photographer (me!) and reception venue staff, who, through years of experience will all effortlessly combine as a team to make sure your day goes without a flaw.

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